Indonesian Paradise: Your Cozy Terracotta 1BR Escape Awaits!
Alright, buckle up Buttercups, because we're about to dive deep into a review of , and let me tell you, I've got a whole lot of feelings about this place. Forget those perfectly polished travel blogs, this is the real deal, flaws and all. Think of me as your brutally honest, sleep-deprived, but ultimately loveable travel buddy.
First Impressions & The Nitty Gritty (Ugh, the Bureaucracy!):
So, we’re talking about accessibility, right? Okay, let’s get this out of the way: They say they're wheelchair accessible. Say. Now, I didn't roll in with my trusty chair, so I can't personally vouch for every single nook and cranny. But they do list "Facilities for disabled guests" and an elevator, which is a good start. Always call ahead and confirm – don't trust the internet blindly. The whole “Contactless check-in/out” thing sounded snazzy, but let's be honest, it’s usually just a robot-voiced person on a screen staring back at you that gets you to your room. Still, I'm not judging - anything that speeds up the process is a win for this impatient traveler.
They do offer airport transfer, Car park [free of charge]& Car park [on-site], Valet parking and a Car power charging station. Now I feel like I should applaud. But for me (and maybe for you who's reading), the idea of having my own car is foreign. I think the Taxi service is more my thing.
Internet - The Digital Dungeon:
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! HOORAY! But… and there’s always a but, isn’t there? The internet situation was… patchy. Like, "trying to download a cat video and failing miserably" patchy. Okay, I might be exaggerating, but sometimes it felt like I was back in dial-up hell. They offer both "Internet access – LAN" and "Internet access – wireless," so maybe try both, eh? I’m pretty sure I spent a good chunk of my time just staring at the loading circle cursing whoever thought “buffering” was a good idea. Seriously, in this day and age, slow internet is a cardinal sin. I'm not sure if there is Wi-Fi for special events.
Eating, Drinking, & Be Merry (Or Maybe Just Stuffed) :
The dining and drinking situation? A mixed bag. They have a lot of options. Restaurants? Several. Restaurants, Restaurants, Restaurants. Asian breakfast? I'm a sucker for some congee, and they delivered. International cuisine? Check. Western breakfast? Yep. A la carte, buffet, coffee shop, poolside bar? You name it, they (probably) got it.
The food, it was… okay. Nothing mind-blowing, but perfectly serviceable. The breakfast buffet was a chaotic ballet of hungry guests grabbing sausages and eggs. (The fruit selection was surprisingly good. I always judge a place by its fruit. It's a thing.) The coffee shop… well let’s just say I’m not sure. Desserts in restaurant? I’m not sure. Salad in restaurant? Soup in restaurant?
The Room service [24-hour] nearly saved my sanity. Late-night cravings? Delivered without judgment. I did get a bottle of water. Also, I am soooo happy for the vegetarian restaurant.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax, and the Pursuit of Bliss (Maybe):
Okay, this is where starts to shine, somewhat. Spa/sauna, sauna, steamroom, swimming pool, swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap. Yes. Yes. YES.
I’m a sucker for a good spa day. And the spa here… chefs kiss. Okay, okay, the Body scrub was a bit rough, like a sandpaper hug, but the Massage? Divine. Seriously, I think I achieved enlightenment whilst getting pummeled into a state of zen. The Pool with view was gorgeous, especially at sunset. The Gym/fitness centre looked decent, but come on, this is vacation. I'd foot bath and call it a day.
They even offer a Fitness center! What should you do here? I think you should skip it.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Pandemic's Awkward Embrace:
Alright, let's talk about the elephant in the room: COVID-19. They say they take it seriously. Individually-wrapped food options, Daily disinfection in common areas, Staff trained in safety protocol, Anti-viral cleaning products, Room sanitization opt-out available. They're trying. The Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. I felt reasonably safe, which, in the current climate, is all you can really ask for. The Safe dining setup, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. And Hand sanitizer.
The Rooms – A Home Away From… Wherever You’re Running From:
The rooms? Pretty standard, but comfortable. Air conditioning, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Mini bar. You know, the basics. My room had a window that opens, THANK GOD for fresh air. I loved the bathroom phone. The Bathrobes were fluffy and inviting. The Bed was comfy, even though it was an extra long bed, the Slippers were a nice touch. I was also given Complimentary tea.
I've got to admit, I'm a sucker for Daily housekeeping, because there is nothing better than coming in to a clean room!
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Make Life Easier:
Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Laundry service. This just makes life easier, and it seems they've tried to include them. The Facilities for disabled guests is very welcome. Also, it includes Cash withdrawal.
For the Kids - A Sigh of Relief (Maybe):
Family/child friendly? Babysitting service, Kids facilities, Kids meal. Thank you, for the parents!
The "Special" Stuff (Like, the Really Special Stuff):
Proposal spot. Are you kidding me? Hotel's also hosts Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Seminars, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities. Alright.
The Big Picture – The Verdict (Finally!):
Look, isn't perfect. But here’s the deal: It’s got good (and bad) points, this place is trying. It's a solid choice for a relaxing getaway, especially if you love spas.
Here's my personal, semi-professional, advice for the owners:
- Up the Wi-Fi game. Seriously, it's 2024, people!
- Invest in some next-level spa treatments.
A Persuasive Offer for Your Booking
Okay, so here's the pitch. Ready?
Tired of the Grind? Escape to Paradise (and Get a Discount!)
Feeling stressed? Need a break from the chaos? Then is calling your name. Picture this: You, lounging by a shimmering pool, sipping a cocktail as the sun dips below the horizon. A world-class spa experience awaits, where your worries melt away with every massage stroke.
For a limited time, book your stay at and receive:
- A complimentary upgrade to a room with a view! (Subject to availability, because, you know, life)
- 20% off all spa treatments! Because you deserve to be pampered.
- Free breakfast! Because who wants to cook on vacation?
Why ?
- Unwind & Relax: Indulge in luxurious spa treatments, bask in the sun by the pool.
- Culinary Delights: Savor diverse dining options, from Asian breakfast to international cuisine.
- Comfort & Convenience: Enjoy well-appointed rooms with all the amenities you need.
- Safety First: Rest easy knowing that stringent cleanliness and safety protocols are in place.
Don't wait! This offer won't last forever. Book your escape to today and start living the dream!
Click here to book now!
(Disclaimer: I was not paid to write this review. My experiences are 100% my own, and I hope you found it helpful - or at least entertaining. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a nap.)
Indonesian Paradise: Romantic 1BR Family Room IR49A - Book Now!
Cozy Terracotta Chaos: My Indonesian Adventure (NE84A Edition) - Buckle Up, Buttercups!
Alright, so here we go. Attempting to wrangle this Indonesian escapade into something resembling a "schedule." Let's be honest, though, my attempts at organization usually end up looking more like a Jackson Pollock painting than a meticulously planned trip. But, hey, that's the fun, right? This is my adventure, post-pandemic, a little rusty, a little overly excited… and fueled by way too much Indonesian coffee.
Pre-Trip Panic (aka "Packing is My Kryptonite")
- Days Before Departure: The Great Packing Fiasco. Every trip starts with this, and I always swear I'll be better at it. Wrong. This time, I'm convinced I'm bringing enough clothes to outfit a small village. Three pairs of hiking boots? Check (because you never know!). Ten swimsuits? Absolutely essential. (Side note: I'm terrible at self-editing.)
- Pro-Tip (that I never actually follow): Pack light. Really. You'll thank me later.
Day 1: Arrival and the Quest for the Perfect Nasi Goreng
- Morning (ish): Touchdown in Denpasar! The humidity hits you like a warm, sweaty hug. Immigration took forever, naturally. Cue the impatient tapping of feet and internal monologue: "Are they judging my passport photo? Is my hair too messy?" (Spoiler alert: yes, and yes).
- Afternoon: Finally made it to the magical NE84A Cozy Terracotta Suite! Honestly, it's adorable. That color? To die for. Instantly took a million pictures, all angles, because, you know, Instagram. Then, the inevitable unpacking chaos. Where do you put your thing in a new place? Especially if you brought all your things?
- Evening: The Nasi Goreng Hunt. This is serious business. Wandered the streets of wherever-I-was-at-that-point- Bali (still working on the location specifics, Google Maps is my friend, eventually). Found a tiny warung (local restaurant). The language barrier was real, but eventually managed to bellow, "Nasi Goreng, please! Extra spicy, if possible." And it was glorious. The best I've ever had, probably. This statement is likely to change with every Nasi Goreng I eat.
- Night: Jet lag. The enemy. Tossed and turned, got up to pee three times, and finally succumbed to the sweet embrace of sleep around 3 am. The kind where you wake up two hours later, completely disoriented, convinced it's already noon.
Day 2: Temple Troubles and Rice Paddy Revelations
- Morning: Woke up feeling… blah. The sleep was not nearly enough. Coffee, strong coffee. The Balinese coffee situation got me by immediately, It was absolutely delicious.
- Mid-Morning: Decided to be all cultured and visit a temple. (Can't remember the name – still working on that location identification thing). Massive queue to get in. Felt a tiny bit underdressed (again, not my strong suit). The temple itself was stunning, though. A real assault on the senses – incense, chanting, the vibrant colors. But then the "helpful local offering a tour" strikes. Turns out, "helpful" equals "pressure sales pitch involving a suspiciously timed donation." Learnt a hard lesson there. "No Thank You," is your friend.
- Afternoon: My favorite part. The rice paddies! The drive out there was a bit bumpy (thanks, unpredictable Bali roads!), but the view… oh, the view. Emerald green terraces cascading down the hillsides. Breathe. Just breathe. Took a million pictures, probably the same as the Instagram feed. It went on and on.
- Evening: Massage! Needed it after the temple shenanigans and the long day. Found a place with a questionable sign, but the massage itself was heavenly. The masseuse was so strong! I think I floated out of there. Followed it up with a walk along the beach.
Day 3: Volcano Views and a Deep Dive into the Underworld (of Food)
- Early Morning: Determined to see Mount Batur. Booked a sunrise trek (because, FOMO). Hiked for a few hours while huffing and puffing. It's steep! The views from the top were spectacular. Worth the effort, even with the burning legs.
- Afternoon: Back down and starving. Immediately hit a local place for an epic lunch. Honestly, the food in Indonesia is to die for. The flavors! The fresh ingredients! The cheap prices! I am here for it. Another Nasi Goreng, because, you know, comfort food. Then, the real fun. Went to a cooking class. (This is where I go a little off the rails.)
- Cooking Class- The Deep Dive: Ok, confession time. I LOVE cooking. More accurately - I love eating, and pretending to cook has no downside. This class was more of a sensory explosion. The smells, the sounds, the heat of the chili peppers – it was intense, but I loved every second of it. The instructor, a woman named Ketut, was patient and hilarious and had the patience of a saint. We learned to make a bunch of dishes - gado-gado, satay lilit, the works. I over-spiced EVERYTHING (sorry, Ketut!). The best part? Eating our creations afterwards. The food tasted amazing!
- Evening: Food Coma. Pure, unadulterated bliss. Passed out shortly after dinner with my belly full of delicious food, and the memories of the cooking class.
Day 4: Beach Bum Blues and the Search for the Perfect Sunset
- Morning: Beach day! Headed to a beach. (Name still a mystery, I swear, I'm making notes!) The sea was so warm. Swam, relaxed, and enjoyed.
- Afternoon: The beach also has a bit of a dark side. Sunburn alert! Learned the painful lesson of applying sunscreen every 15 minutes. Then, attempted to shop. Found some souvenirs. Overspent. Got a little bit of buyer's remorse. The usual.
- Evening: Stared at the sunset. Because that's what one does when you're in Bali. It was beautiful. Then, searched for a good spot for dinner, but ended up with a decent meal with a side of mosquito bites.
Day 5 & Beyond: The Unknown (and Probably More Food)
- Next Steps: Still figuring it out. More temples for sure. More beaches. Maybe try surfing (probably will humiliate myself spectacularly). Definitely more food. I’ve got the cooking class to prove I can.
- The Big Picture: This trip is a mess in the best way possible. Imperfect, unexpected, and constantly evolving - just like life. It wouldn't be an adventure without the hiccups, the wrong turns, and the moments of pure, unadulterated joy. And the constant hunt for the next amazing meal. See you in a few days. I'm off to conquer the world (or at least the next warung). Wish me luck!
So, what IS this whole "FAQ" thing supposed to be, anyway? Like, the point?
Oh, good gravy. You want the *point*? Fine. Think of it like… a chaotic digital confessional. People ask questions, and I… answer them, maybe. Mostly, I just ramble and overshare. The point, other than procrastinating on, well, *everything*? I think it's to connect. To be honest. To, for once, *not* be a perfect, polished little robot. Because let's be real, perfection is BORING. And exhausting. So, welcome to the imperfection factory.
Okay, okay, I'm following... But, like, WHAT kind of questions are we talking about here? Specifics, please!
Good question! Or… *a* question. Look, I answer questions about life, the universe, and everything in between. That includes the awkward moment you had with your barista this morning (guilty!), whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza (NEVER!), and, if you're feeling brave, your deepest, darkest fears. I've even been asked about… well, let’s just say things that would make your grandma blush. Basically, anything goes. And who knows what could come up next - Maybe someone will ask me why I can't keep my own website from crashing. It'll be embarrassing for me, but you will be entertained (hopefully).
Are you *always* honest and open? Like, no filters? Ever? Sounds… dangerous, honestly.
Ah, the age-old question of truth. Look, I *try*. Sometimes, I stumble. Sometimes, I hold back a tiny bit because, well, I value my sanity (and occasionally, my social standing). But generally? Yeah, I'm a bit of an open book. Maybe a slightly dog-eared, coffee-stained open book. Remember that time I told everyone about that disastrous date I had where... well, let's just say my date was *very* enthusiastic about his collection of rare spoons? Yeah… good times. Okay maybe it wasn't good.
Okay, but *why* do you do this? What's the motivation? Is it fame? Fortune? A deep, abiding love of answering questions?
Ugh, fame and fortune? Ha! If I wanted either of those, I'd be filming cat videos. No, it's not the cats, I am not a fan of the cat videos and I am in no way going to create on. I do this because... well, it's complicated. Partly because I'm a natural chatterbox (my mother used to say I could talk the paint off a wall). Partly because I have a burning desire to connect with people. And mostly because it's cheaper than therapy. And speaking therapy, I should go and do that. But hey, I am who I am. Look, it's just a nice way to spend my time and provide a little bit of entertainment to anyone who is willing to read it. I hope you're reading it, because I've spent a lot of time talking about myself here.
What's the weirdest question you've *ever* been asked? Come on, spill the tea!
Okay, okay, you wanna know? Alright, here's a doozy. Someone once asked me… *deep breath*… if I had ever considered trying to communicate with dolphins using interpretive dance. Like, full-on, water-ballet-in-the-ocean interpretive dance. I paused for a moment, wondering if they were serious. Then I burst out laughing. The ridiculousness of it! I mean, picture me, flailing around in the ocean, trying to convey my innermost thoughts about… what, exactly? The mating rituals of clownfish? The existential angst of seaweed? But on a serious note. I have to admit, it was a bit tempting. I mean, the ocean... the dolphins... Maybe it's not such a bad idea? Probably not. I'm not much of a dancer.
How do you decide what to answer? Do you just pick questions at random?
Random? Mostly, yeah. I mean, unless they are... you know... *too* personal. Or if they go on too much about spoon collections, I am not answering those anymore. I try to answer questions that spark something in me. A flicker of interest. A sudden memory. A strong desire to rant. So, if your question gets a response, consider yourself lucky… or maybe… a target. It's a crapshoot, honestly. And I make it up as I go. So if you don't like anything I say, well... suck it up, I guess.
Do you ever get… bored? Like, with answering questions? Does it ever feel like a job?
Bored? Nah. Okay, maybe *sometimes*. When I'm, say, answering the tenth question about pineapple on pizza in a single day. Or dealing with the trolls who thrive on controversy. But generally, no. It's a welcome distraction from the existential dread of... well, everything. And if it ever *did* feel like a job? I’d quit. Immediately. Life's too short to be doing things you hate. Unless, of course, it pays really well. In that case, I'll stick around. But currently, it does not. So I am answering questions on my own time still.
What's something you *won't* talk about? Is there a line you won't cross?
Hmmm… That's a good question. I mean, I *generally* steer clear of topics that are, like, deeply personal and could reveal too much about others. Especially those that could get me sued. Details of other people's private moments, definitely off-limits. I am also not talking about my family. Mostly, I am just trying to stay out of jail and not upset anyone. But beyond that? Let's just say I'm open to discussion. Within reason, of course. And maybe if you asked, I will tell you… but it might not be pretty. You've been warned!
What's your favorite thing to do when you're NOT answering questions? Like, what’s your escape?
